Loving Him Every Day
Feb
13
Written by:
2/13/2012 4:38 PM
If you have ever researched the history of Valentine’s Day, you have to scratch your head. How did we ever get from remembering Christian martyrs to cupids and hearts, chocolates and roses? Well, never mind. Roses are lovely, but I did tell my husband the first time he brought me a big bunch that I could be quite happy with one or two in a bud vase. Roses are expensive and more so just before Valentine’s Day. I got two this year. Chocolates are very nice, too, but again not too many…for other reasons.
It is very nice to be remembered with treats and to receive loving words on this day, but older women are supposed to encourage younger women to love their husbands every day. (Titus 2:4) What an awesome assignment! Without God’s Word, I would not attempt it. My husband and I were newlyweds when we started walking with the Lord. I have often wondered what a foolish mess I might have made of our marriage without His principles. His ways are so opposite to the world’s that they may seem extreme to us. But no surprise, our Maker’s instructions work. Let’s look at some of them.
In Proverbs 31 we read that the good wife does her husband good all the days of her life. His heart can safely trust in her. Thus she must be loyal in word and deed. If you read the chapter you see that she is faithful in many tasks. Some women don’t like this chapter, because it sets the bar so high. But I like it, because it portrays the home as a place of much trust and responsibility with lots of potential for blessing and creativity. (Also note she has servant gals. She doesn’t do all those amazing things alone.) You won’t get this picture of our role at home from today’s world.
If we are to do our husbands good all our days like the wife in Proverbs 31, we need unconditional love toward our husband and our children, a servant’s heart, and a meek and gentle spirit. Did you say, “Augh!”?
Listen, I am not by nature meek and gentle, more like feisty. But clearly, if I want to please the Lord and if I want to be a good wife, this is clearly the direction I need to move. My husband says that I have mellowed a bit…in thirty-seven years, but that I am still feisty. Interestingly, the biblical definition of meekness is power under control, so if you are feisty don’t despair. Choosing a gentle response, a respectful attitude, and an open-mind is a matter of the will. The will may not eliminate “feisty,” but it can control it much of the time, with reliance on the Holy Spirit. This is definitely true of unconditional love as well. It is not in our nature to love unconditionally, selflessly, all the time. However, it is God’s love, and He can grow us in it.
Paul describes God’s agape love well in 1 Corinthian 13: 4-8:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Another high bar, huh? We can choose to love our husbands with God’s love, but we will have to depend upon Him every day all day. We will not consistently clear this high bar, any more than that of Proverbs 31, but it is good to have high bars. It’s also reassuring to know that forgiveness is not optional, but obligatory for believers. Also, God wants our husbands to love us with the same kind of love. My husband is good at this. If yours is, tell him how much you appreciate it. And thank the Lord for him!
Tips:
Ask the Lord every day for His love in your marriage. If you are going through a rough patch, ask Him many times a day.
Don’t go to bed angry. (Ephesians 4:26)
Remember that you can choose kind words, a gentle response.
Even if you don’t feel love, you can choose to love.
Keep short accounts with God and your spouse. Apologize. Forgive. No grudges.
Accept the fact that most men are less communicative than women.
If you really need to talk, suggest a walk. Somehow communication comes easier on a walk…as long as it’s not a power walk. Phew!
Honor your husband as the head of your home.
Thank the Lord that He loves you all the time…forever.